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Seriously? It‘s day 11 already? How in the world? I feel like we were just getting off a plane yesterday. I will say that I am beginning to feel the pull towards home. As much as I love being in Thailand, I miss my Ty, my bed, my shower, not living out of a suitcase… Weird tidbit about me, I get a weird sense of satisfaction as my supplies from home start to dwindle on a trip. There’s less toothpaste, shampoo is getting lower, q-tips are disappearing, Mia‘s diaper pile is getting smaller, not so many vitamins in the vitamin pile in the morning. I love that as a visual reminder of the time that has passed and that home is getting closer. Aaron thinks I am strange for this. Today is the first day of our official adoption appointments.
More downs than ups today. If we were in the business of giving our girl exactly what she wanted, I think most people would look at us and think “Wow! They are doing great!“. We aren‘t in that business though. We are willing to push through to make sure that this girl knows that she is loved by both mom AND dad, both can take care of her, both can meet her needs, both can comfort her, both can have fun with her.
If we gave all of those tasks to Aaron, she would be the happiest girl on the face of the planet. The problem is, Aaron goes back to work when we get home and we feel like now is the time to not just make sure that she is comfortable 100% of the time, but for Aaron to let her know that Mom does a great job too. He‘s been magnificent. Are we horrible people?
Our day was a success if you think about the things that we had to accomplish. Breakfast went great and she sat in her own high chair instead of crying to be held. By 8:15, we were ready to head to the DSDW (Department of Social Development & Welfare) appointment. It was similar to last time and had us reminiscing. Rather than waiting where we did last time though, they now had an air conditioned room for the 3 families to wait in (18 cases being seen by the adoption board – these people are busy!).
The other two kids were having a blast, but Mia pretty much stayed glued to Aaron, and we let her because we wanted them to see that she was comfortable in our family. The interview went great and was really short. They asked a couple of questions, but basically said that they trusted us since we had already successfully adopted Ty and they hoped that we would bring them both back together someday. Lots more waiting, but by around noon, we had the papers that we needed. The Thai government has officially approved her placement with us! Whoo hoo! Day 1 of official adoption appointments complete!
Take out lunch from the moon house, naps for me and my girl, and then sitting on our balcony to watch storms roll in took our afternoon. That is one of the things I have loved most about our trip this time. Our days often start out beautiful, but by late afternoon, you can go outside and just watch the storms come in and cover the city. So beautiful. From our balcony, you can actually look down to watch the birds soaring through the air and can follow raindrops as they fall hundreds of feet to the pool below. Interesting perspective when you are up this high.
Have you ever seen the film Man‘s Favorite Sport? I was thinking about it today as we were sitting on the balcony. So Roger Willaby (Rock Hudson) is supposed to be this genius fisherman who works at a sporting goods store selling fishing equipment and he‘s even written a book about fishing. His boss, thinking it would be good publicity for the store, enters him in a local fishing contest. He has to come out with the truth and let these two friends he‘s made know that he is a fake and actually can‘t fish – can‘t stand touching fish, eating fish, doesn‘t know how to catch one. At one point in the movie, to get him comfortable with the idea of fish his friend makes him sit in a rain storm and hold a dead fish that he‘s caught in his hand until she lets him know that it‘s ok to get up. Great old comedy, but I was reminded of it because today, I felt like Mia‘s “fish“.
This girl has some fight in her, but I‘m fairly certain that I‘ve been given a healthy amount too. I had her sit on my lap today for over an hour as she cried and screamed at me. By the end, she was still crying and not about to give up, but we did make progress as I held her to walk down to the laundry lady (oh my goodness – we have clean clothes and they smell AMAZING), and then we came back and I sat her on the kitchen counter and she helped hand me dishes as I washed them – all without crying.
I had her help me with getting her dinner ready and again she did great and she helped with cleaning up and throwing things in the trash all by herself. We are already starting to see a little progress there – if she starts whimpering for something, we ask what she wants or ask her to go get it and she‘ll usually stop right away and move on.
I think today has been my lowest point thus far. I just felt defeated and wounded most of the day. She obviously favors Aaron, but it‘s not just that – it‘s trying to hold her hand on a car ride and she pushes it away, or getting ready for bed tonight, she pulls my hand away and rolls over so she doesn‘t have to see me, it‘s downright mean at times. Our social worker seems encouraged that she is so happy with Aaron, but neither of us are happy about it. The social worker told Aaron today that he is more playful so that might be why she likes him more – um… she screams every time I try to play with her. She told me that she might not like my appearance. Thank you.
I feel like all I do is give to this little girl and I just keep getting rejection. Maybe it‘s pride, but it can just be embarrassing too. I go to hold her or pick her up and immediate wailing comes. Aaron will take her back and they stop instantly. Trying to hold on to the little bits of good, but today was H A R D. To top it all off, I ordered pad thai “mai ow pak“ for lunch and it came with “pak“. I nearly wept over this. Pak = vegetables. I know how to order food sans vegetables in Thai – that‘s how much this means to me. 🙂
Dinner in tonight. We opened up the balcony doors so we could experience the majesty of a full blown thunderstorm in the city, 21 floors up. Bedtime was rough, but we have a sleeping girl right now and that is something. Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it. 🙂 It holds our final official adoption appointments with the US Embassy which will generate the visa that we need to bring Mia home, so we should be able to plan out the rest of our time here, knowing tomorrow when the visa will be ready for her to travel. And we have friends coming!!!!! Can‘t wait to see some friendly faces tomorrow and spend some time with them here in the city! Still hopeful – trying to keep my head up.
Random bits – Our social worker agreed with us that this girl has a set of lungs. Everything she does is dainty. She is petite. Takes small bites of food. Has an adorable little voice. Screams like nobody‘s business. Lots of fun. Little bit nervous about the plane ride for that reason.
Tools to document your day…
- Camera Phone (for easy pictures and handheld video)
- Mirrorless Camera (for wide angle & zoom options to add quality video and photos)
We were super low-key on our official adoption appointments days. I don’t remember doing any video while we were there. I was more concerned that we had all of the proper documents and that our girl was content through the appointment. We kept our camera phone and mirrorless with us throughout the day to document.
This was also a day that had my head spinning with questions of what to take and what to wear. If you haven’t already, you can check out our posts on Adoption Travel Wardrobe and Thailand Adoption Travel Tips for answers to those questions.
Technology changes quickly, so we’ll try to keep you up-to-date with what is currently in our camera bag and the tools we are now using to document travel.
