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Welp, it‘s day number 9 for us which means that we are officially at the half way point of the trip. Today was a beautiful day exploring Hua Hin. Our day started at 4:45am. That is a time that I am quite sure doesn‘t even exist on my clock at home, but here, I don‘t mind it so much. I had a good chunk of time to myself to get ready and spend some time out on our terrace waiting for the sun to come up with my neighbor, the rooster.
Aaron and Mia joined me around 6:00 – she fell back asleep on his chest again this morning after waking up crying around 4:30. The sunrise looked amazing, so we got ready and went down to the beach to explore a nearby pier and take a walk in the sand before breakfast started.
She really likes helping me pack up for the day when we are getting ready. I‘ll point things out to her and she‘ll grab it for me and throw it in our bag. It is about as much space as we get seeing her even slightly independent with inches between us. We started out with a beautiful breakfast but quickly melted down when I finished eating and sent Aaron to get his breakfast while I finished feeding Mia. She screamed, fought me every bit of the way, and leaned over at one point to spit her food on me. Um, no. That‘s not how we roll, Deary.
We really wanted to explore Hua Hin today, so we ventured out to see if we could find a couple of nearby wats. Our hotel offered us complimentary shuttle service to a nearby one and it wasn‘t at all the one that we had tried communicating to them, but it was phenomenal! I don‘t think a tourist has ever stepped foot on this ground that these people consider sacred.
Phenomenal. Did I say that already? So we are the only whities there and you climb a gazillion steps in what can only be described as sweltering heat (and Aaron has a little girl strapped to his back) up to this really old looking temple. There are signs pointing you to where you can pay respect to Buddha, not for the information of tourists, but locals who come here as families to offer up their gifts. There‘s a reclining Buddha, 3 ginormous gold Buddhas, and a fenced in temple all situated on this winding path with stone walls, and giant boulders that my dad would absolutely love, steps climbing higher, no matter which path you choose, until you reach the top and can look out onto the city of Hua Hin with all of its surrounding hills and ocean below. Crazy good for exploring and taking photos. It looks like quintessential Thailand – gorgeous historic buildings covered in stunning artwork and mirrored tiles.
Our second stop was to Khao Takiab and a wat that was situated again up a gazillion steps in the kind of heat that sends sweat dripping down your body just standing still. Not as impressive to us as the non-tourist version that we had just seen, but it is really beautiful and it has the local nickname of “monkey mountain“. Lots of monkeys, just walking up the steps, hanging out in the shade, pestering the food vendor stalls selling cold drinks and ice cream. They literally beat them off with a stick.
Back to the hotel for lunch, because how can you not eat in this beautiful location and enjoy such amazing food choices? Mia did well and even sat in a high chair on her own, feeding herself and letting us help her. Aaron took the nap shift this afternoon and told me I should go get a massage on the beach. Um… ok. Still really hot out, but there was a bit of a breeze and I was getting a massage on the beach… for an hour… for about $10. She was tough and somehow fit my whole body into a “neck and shoulder“ massage and told me I should come back tomorrow for a full body. Isn‘t that what you just did? Anyways, brilliant, relaxing, and just what this momma needed. When I was done, Mia was still sleeping on Aaron‘s chest on the beach under the shade of some beautiful palms. We woke her up after an hour and a half so that she would still sleep tonight.
Afternoon swim at the pool again and Mia still hates me. 🙂 We have moments here and there where she will tolerate me, but Aaron is still the key to her happiness. Or not even happiness – contentment. We still aren‘t seeing too many smiles out of this girl. I don‘t know if it‘s because she is just trying to hold it together to keep from crying or if she is just one serious little girl. I have a new theory on why she doesn‘t like me. I was the first person to pick her up from her social worker‘s lap at our meeting. I wonder if that made me the bad guy and Aaron the rescuer on that first day? Don‘t know for sure, but I‘m choosing to believe it for now rather than take it personally.
We came up to our room from the pool and spent 45 minutes with her screaming at me again. Aaron sat next to me and she would crawl over to his lap, perfectly content. He would give her a hug and put her back on my lap letting her know that he loved her, but mom loves her too. I have a really great husband / father to our kiddos. Can‘t even tell you how much his support has meant to me. I wanted a family photo with this girly like we have with Ty from his time in Hua Hin, so we set out to accomplish a nice portrait and I think we got a few. Makes my heart happy, even if I still can‘t get this girl to be comfortable in my arms unless it‘s sleeping.
We had dinner tonight in the restaurant downstairs and it was so beautiful – candlelit with the sunlight dimming over the ocean. Rather romantic if you ask me. Mia made it pretty happily through dinner tonight in her own high chair. At the end of our meal, Aaron picked her up out of her chair to hold her without her crying and reaching out for him. Another positive step. As we were getting ready to leave, one of the waitresses came over to talk to us. We had sat at her table once or twice during our stay and she knew that these days here were our first steps as a family. In the most broken, but beautiful English, this woman – a mother to a 17 month old – took the time to let me know how lucky Mia was. We get that a lot with our kids, especially from Thai people, and I assumed that she meant because she would have a family and get to live in the US, like they so often tell us. It hurts my heart a bit every time I hear it, but this time, she didn‘t say that. She told me that she had been watching me and that Mia was so lucky because I was her mom. Goh – crying again! “She is lucky girl because you is strong“, she told me. And I started tearing up immediately which quickly turned to sobs.
She told me that she saw how much Mia was struggling, fighting, and crying in my arms and I automatically assume that everyone here, especially the Thai staff are thinking what a horrible mother I am. But this woman saw me – she saw my kindness and how much I was loving on this girl in spite of her fighting it. Friends, that meant everything to me tonight. Sobbing again. 🙂 I have seriously held it together through all of this (with the exception of just being so frustrated about it yesterday), but I cried tonight for the first time, just because another mom saw me as strong when I often feel so very weak. If you see a mom out and about and it looks like she is struggling, offer her even the tiniest bit of encouragement, especially if you have walked this fragile ground before us. You never will know what words like that can do for a mom‘s heart, especially when she feels like she is failing at this most sacred of jobs.
Thank you for all of the encouragement that I woke up to this morning! So many of you left comments or sent messages our way regarding the struggle of kids favoring one parent over the other and you all said different things, but each one was unique and was what my heart needed to hear – like about how Ty is doing great at home, or how each of your bio kids did the exact same thing, or how you‘ve poured yourself into your child day after day until you have nothing left to give and Dad is still the favorite, or offered encouragement and prayer support. Friends, I feel like I have all of you here with me, cheering me on even though you are half a world away. It‘s been amazing.
Bedtime went even better tonight and Aaron put her to sleep so I could do some tidying up before we get ready to leave the beach tomorrow. Sad to be leaving this amazing little piece of Thailand and it will always have a piece of our hearts, crying baby and all.
Tomorrow we are heading back to Bangkok for our official appointments. Not thrilled about the change of scenery or the fact that we might regress some more in our relationship after seeing the social workers again, but it‘s another piece in the puzzle to bring this girly home.
I am here and am living in the present and am so grateful for that fact. I feel abundantly full (and not just because I had some awesome spaghetti for dinner). In spite of her fighting me and the tears, I‘m just so proud to be this girl‘s mom. I wake up excited to see her in the morning. I‘m thankful for the really good moments that happen in between the hysterical screaming. I‘m thankful for the hysterical screaming. Don‘t love it, but I still get to be her mom through it. I do feel like people are judging me and my competency as a mom every time that we are out and it sounds like I‘m pulling her toenails off, but I am putting that on them, so maybe that‘s a me problem. Watching for progress each day and I‘m still hopeful.
Tools to document your day…
- Camera Phone (for easy pictures and handheld video)
- Mirrorless Camera (for wide angle & zoom options to add quality video and photos)
- SLR (for anyone who wants to tackle their own family photoshoot)
- Travel tripod (see above – you’re going to want height on this one)
- Osmo Pocket (for adding smooth movement to your video – like exploring wats)
- Go Pro (for unique movement in your video – like attached to a tuk tuk)
- Insta 360 (to put yourself in the video and add unique perspective while you’re exploring)
We had an amazing opportunity exploring Hua Hin as a family today! It was hot and sweaty and absolutely beautiful. And then we were the crazies that decided to attempt a photoshoot with our newly adopted daughter. For the record, they are still some of my favorite photos from the trip, especially that photo of me with my girl on the beach. And we are in a place now where Mia laughs that she used to dislike me so much and will give me a big hug and tell me how much she loves me.
We used most of our camera equipment for little bits throughout the day today. If you’d like to see what literally goes into our camera bag on a trip, you can find it here. This is how we roll, but it doesn’t mean you have to. Mix and match what is going to give you the best experience and level of documentation that you are comfortable with. Technology changes quickly, so we’ll try to keep you up-to-date with what is currently in our camera bag and the tools we are now using to document travel.
